"BRING ON THE TINNITUUUUUUS!" Cheer Anchorage Residents In Preparation For Arctic Thunder

Sources report that a group of Anchorage residents gathered at the Delaney Park Strip is earnestly cheering “BRING ON THE TINNITUUUUUUS!” in preparation for the Arctic Thunder Open House this weekend. “I’M SO EXCITED FOR ARCTIC THUNDER THIS WEEKEND! JETS FLYING BY! THE CHANCE TO SEE JBER! AND THE OPPORTUNITY TO POSSIBLY GET TINNITUS!” yelled one of the chanters. “BRING IT ON! DID YOU CATCH THAT? IT’S SORT OF HARD TO HEAR OVER THE SOUND OF THESE JETS FLYING SOMEWHAT LOW OVER ANCHORAGE! THE PERFECT CONDITIONS FOR TINNITUUUUUUUUUUUUS!”

“I THOUGHT THE OPEN HOUSE WAS THIS WEEKEND, BUT I GUESS THEY DECIDED TO START EARLY!” continued the chanter on the Thursday before the festival. “NO PROBLEMO WITH ME! I LOVE THE JETS! AND THE EXTRA OPPORTUNITY TO DAMAGE MY EARDRUMS!”

At press time, VROOOOOOOOOOMNNNNEYOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMSHHHHH!