A local resident reports that the gorilla statues along the Chester Creek Trail are inspecting an artificial boulder like it is the monolith from the 1968 sci-fi classic 2001: A Space Odyssey. “The way the gorillas are staring at the boulder like it’s a piece of alien technology, it’s exactly how the early humans in 2001: A Space Odyssey inspect the monolith,” stated a resident walking through Charles Smith Memorial Park. “It’s really uncanny. What do those gorillas see in the plastic boulder? Is the boulder about to spur a leap in intelligence and technological progress akin to the early humans in the movie? What are the gorillas doing in this Anchorage park to begin with?”
“In the movie, once humans have developed rudimentary space travel throughout the solar system, they find another monolith buried within the Moon’s crust, and this propels them to travel to Jupiter and realize further technological wonders. Now that the gorillas have discovered this first boulder in Charles Smith Memorial Park, will they soon discover the other boulders in Sitka Street Park and Abbot Loop Playground? Once they do, will they outpace us Anchorage residents in intelligence and take over the city? I think this might be one of the most pressing questions facing Alaskans today.” At press time, this resident had way too much time on their hands.