Conoco Phillips has announced a new brand ambassadorship program in which Anchorage residents can get free haircuts if they agree to have the words ‘Sponsored by Conoco Phillips’ shaved into the side of their head. A leaked internal document states that Conoco Phillips executives think the program “is a fantastic way to increase brand recognition at little cost to the corporation. Long-haired Alaskans are notoriously cheap and will likely jump at the opportunity for a free haircut.”
To some, this program is one step too far for the company. To others, however, the move is just another iteration in the long history of Conoco Phillips sponsoring just about everything in Anchorage. “We’re basically all walking brands anyways,” stated a resident in a race T-shirt that had ‘Sponsored by Conoco Phillips’ emblazoned on both sides. “I don’t really see the difference between happily accepting event swag that displays the company’s logo and getting ‘Sponsored by Conoco Phillips’ shaved into the side of my head for a free trim.”
Conoco Phillips will throw in a complimentary chest waxing if you also get a sponsored tramp stamp.