A bar of soap recently dropped in a tub is on track for a career in the X Games. “Did you see that bar of soap go?” asked the still-sudsy man who moments ago dropped the bar in the tub. “It entered the arena with the slickness of a professional, shot down the half-pipe, did a 720, shot down again, pulled a double backflip out of nowhere, ended with its signature move, the ‘Dove Dive’, and even left behind a pleasant scent. I think this bar of soap is going places!”
“The X Games is not prepared for a competitor of this caliber,” added the lathered man as he continued hopelessly grasping for the bar of soap flying all around his tub. “I’m not a betting man, aside from the occasional horse race, but if I was I would put my money on this bar of soap being a major player at the next X Games. I mean, its skills are transferable to skateboarding, skiing, snowboarding, and maybe even BMX. I don’t think any human has the same versatility as this silky white bar of soap shredding it up all over my tub.” At press time, a dropped bottle of shampoo produced a sonic boom.